


Kitty Kiss

by UAs_Fics



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Witch Tweek Tweak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 02:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UAs_Fics/pseuds/UAs_Fics
Summary: Tweek’s a witch whose magic is wild, and Craig is his boyfriend who he accidentally turned into a cat last year.





	Kitty Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Request for  LonelyLesbianspizza on Instagram!
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long. ;.; I wrote it, meant to edit it, and completely forgot about it in my unorganized mess of files...>>,

* * *

* * *

His professors must have a screw loose, that's the only explanation for assigning this much work over the holiday weekend.

Or, they just hate him. 

Actually, that's probably it. 

Tweek's professors just hate him. Given that he's accidentally set no less than three classrooms ablaze, that fact shouldn't come as a surprise to him.

Tweek scratched his scalp with his chewed down nails. 

"How is that wrong?!" He muttered, flipping to the back of the book to double check. "Frog's sweat and carrot juice have always been a substitute for eye of newt. Why wouldn't it work here?" 

Tweek slumped forward, scanning the answer glossary. As he read something about the effects of frog's sweat in potions containing nightshade, his familiar trotted up to his chair.

Craig looked at him for a long moment, eyes gleaming in the lamplight, before tensing his muscles and taking a leap.

He landed neatly on Tweek's shoulders. Tweek jumped, nearly bolting up and knocking the creature from his back. He caught himself and froze just in time when he heard a soft mewl. 

Craig sprawled out over Tweek's warm shoulders, his head, and front paws dangling down his front on the left with his tail and hind legs on the right.

He purred against Tweek's neck as he nuzzled his nose against the fabric of his shoulder.

Tweek smiled softly. He reached up and began to scratch Craig behind the ears.

"Thanks, Craig," Tweek mumbled, feeling a little of his stress melt away. 

"No problem, honey," Craig meowed. He gently headbutted Tweek's palm, forcing his boyfriend to pet his thick black fur. 

Craig always knew when Tweek was overworking himself. He had long ago taken upon himself to make sure that Tweek took a break before he collapsed from exhaustion. 

Craig had been especially diligent lately. He saw how Tweek threw himself into his school work. At one point, Craig had to take Tweek’s sleeve in his teeth and pull him to the kitchen to eat after a ten-hour cram session. 

It was hard work, but Craig didn’t mind. How could he? Tweek put out all this effort for him, after all.

Tweek maneuvered so he could take Craig from around his shoulders into his arms. Holding the cat his chest, his pressed his nose into the warm fur. His fur smelled like pine again. Clearly, he’d been sleeping in Stripe’s cage again. 

Craig purred louder, reaching up his front paws up in a fruitless attempt to wrap them around his shoulders like he used to do — before the accident.

Tweek felt his stomach twist. 

Craig knew Tweek was a witch since the day they met. Craig had stopped by the Tweak family coffee shop with some friends and saw Tweek get egged on by his parents to perform some prestidigitation spells.

He also saw the magic backfire and a muffin turn a glowing neon green and then deflate like a balloon into a puddle of floury mush. Tweek’s magic was wild. A simple color change glamour might turn into garish glitter bomb. The most basic of levitation spells could send items through the roof into the stratosphere. 

Tweek was a terrible witch. He knew it. His parents knew it. His teacher and friends knew it. Craig knew it, too, but he didn’t seem to care and still gave him his number on a napkin.

Of everyone, Craig was about the only person who ever truly still believed Tweek would ever get a handle on his hectic spell casting.

He was so sure of Tweek's control, that when he came across a spell in one of Tweek's textbooks (one about giving humans the ability to talk to animals), he had no qualms asking Tweek to perform it on him.

If only Tweek hadn't beefed the spell so bad. Talking with Stripe the guinea pig would have been loads of fun!

But Tweek did beef it. He beefed it so bad, and now his boyfriend was a magic, talking black cat.

"Craig," Tweek mumbled into his neck, "Why don't you hate me? I took your life from you."

Craig pressed his head under Tweek's chin. "It's not your fault. You tried to talk me out of it, but, no, I was too stubborn." 

Tweek made a sound of uncertainty in the back of his throat. True, Craig hadn't backed down when Tweek started to get nervous while preparing the spell, but Tweek knew the spell was too difficult for him. 

"Shouldn't matter." Tweek started to shake. "I've taken nearly a half a year from you, and probably even more before I can turn you back." He pulled him closer. Sobs started to crawl up his throat.

Craig scrambled back, flipping over himself and landing on all four paws atop Tweek's open textbook. A determined fired burned in his eyes.

"We're not going through this again, Tweek. _I_ wanted you to cast the spell on me. _I_ am at fault here, not you. Never you, ok? Jesus, Tweek." His tail lashed, knocking a pen to the floor.

Tweek shirked back, looking away. "But — "

"No buts." Craig cut in. He took a breath. The raised fur on his shoulders flatted back down. "Sorry, Tweek, but, I hate you blaming yourself for this. Besides, it's not that bad. I like being a cat. It's pretty sweet to be able to sleep anywhere I want. I can almost understand what Stripe is saying, sort of," he dragged his tongue along his paw, "and I don't need to waste time showering."

Tweek wrapped his arms around himself, shaking his head. "You couldn't finish getting your degree."

"Fuck school." Craig ran his paw over his ear. 

Another 'but' pressed against Tweek's teeth. No matter what Craig claimed, guilt still gnawed at his stomach.

It wasn't fair. 

It wasn't fair Tweek was born with unstable magic. It wasn't fair Craig fell in love with him. It wasn’t fair Craig was a cat. None of it was fair.

Craig turned his head to the side. "You know, there is one thing we haven't tried to turn me back.” His ear flicked. “A way that doesn’t require you to cast any magic at all.”

"I told you, dude,” Tweek shook his head, “this is the kind of transformation magic that only the one who cast it can remove." Tweek slumped down. "I just have to buckle down and study harder. I have to cast the reverse spell, no one else."

Craig wrinkled up his nose at the mention of studying. 

"No, I mean, we haven't tried 'true love's kiss'," Craig nodded sharply at Tweek. "True's love's kiss fixes everything in fairy tales."

Tweek chuckled. A smile played on his lips as he reached out to stroke Craig's side. Craig really was the best at calming him down when he overdid himself. 

"The paper I wrote to get the scholarship to this school was how true love's kiss is bullshit magic. It's just a placebo." Tweek scratched under his chin with a smile. "Besides, how am I suppose to kiss you? You don't have lips, Mr. Kitty-Cat."

"Straight on the mouth," Craig explained as he ducked his head down before pushing it to Tweek’s palm. "It can't hurt to try, can it? Besides, I miss kissing you."

Tweek dropped his hand with a chuckle. "You know what? Alright. Let’s try it." He scooted his chair back so he could lean forward and look eye to eye with his boyfriend.

Craig's eyes glinted with delight. He straightened up, puffing out his chest. Tweek snorted a laugh as he leaned forward with his lips pucked. He felt like a child, giving an awkward kiss to his grandmother.

Craig leaned forward as well, gently tapping his kitty lips to Tweek's. 

It wasn't a kiss like they had before — not even close — but Craig didn't dwell on that. Instead, he let the warm feeling of love and affection grow in his chest. It grew and expanded, filling every limb. It intertwined with the fibers of his muscles and within each strand of fur.

He raised his paw and pressed the pad against Tweek's cheek. A terrible kiss or not, he didn't want that feeling to ever leave, but it did. In its wake, Craig's body began to ache and feel heavy.

He winced back, sitting back on his legs before going to rub his elbows joints. 

"C-Craig!" Tweek gasped, scrambling to his feet. His chair fell back with a clatter that didn't seem to be as loud as it should have been. Even standing, Tweek should have towered over Craig, but he didn't. Instead, he stood at the same height, eyes even with each other.

He reached out, then froze as his eyes landed on his very human hand, attached to his very human arm, and then his very human body.

"It worked..." Tweek's mouth gaped. "It worked?!" 

Craig patted his furless chest and shoulders down before reaching up to feel his face. No whiskers, no cold nose. His ears were on the sides of his head and so very human. 

He laughed breathy once, running his hands through his hair.

"It did! It really did! Holy--I was just trying to be romantic!" Craig scrambled off the table. After months of being on four legs, he’d forgotten how exactly one walked on two legs and stumbled. Tweek grabbed him, partly for support and partly to pull him into his arms. 

He nuzzled against him. Tweek's chest felt tight with relief and happiness. Tears began to well up in his eyes. Sobs of joy hiccuped from his throat. 

Craig laughed, wrapping his arms around Tweek. "Looks like you'll need to rewrite that paper, huh?" 

"Fuck, I'll change my whole field of study for this!" He hugged him back, squeezing him a little too tightly around the chest. 

But Craig didn't complain. Even if true loves kiss was a fluke and this was the result of Tweek's wild magic, he wouldn't ever complain.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> [ my writing tumblr.](https://www.uas-fics.tumblr.com)


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